Introduction A quick overview, with no spoilers.
1: CSI, Squirrel A rogue squirrel stirs up trouble between my neighbor and me.
2: The Property Maze Your driveway is my driveway. Literally.
3: Forgive Us Our Trespasses I sue my neighbor because I think our deed restrictions give me the right to cross over her driveway. She sues me back.
4: Over Exposed My neighbor’s lawyer accuses me of exposing myself while I was trespassing on her property. (Spoiler: I didn’t.)
5: Liable for Libel? According to Texas law, libel is written defamation that tends to injure a person’s reputation. So, what can I do about it?
6: Case Opened I’m assigned a case number, which means that my property lawsuit is officially underway. (I’ll see you in court!)
7: Heading for a Hearing My lawyer schedules a hearing for a temporary injunction so we can cross my neighbor’s driveway in peace for a while.
8: Hearing Day My lawyer and I meet up at the courthouse to prepare for the hearing. The judge arrives, so let the games begin.
9: The TI Hearing In court, my lawyer shows videos of Sonia (my neighbor) engaging in the activities that I characterized as “harassment” in my petition.1
10: Lawsuit Prep Suing somebody for libel is hard work, especially if you don’t know what you’re doing. Which I don’t. So I need to line up some resources.
11: Take It Back! I ask Tommy (my neighbor’s lawyer) to retract his accusation. Tommy insists that “exposing yourself” doesn’t mean “exposing yourself.”
12: Judgment Summary A summary judgment is probably not as painful as a summary execution, but it’s just as final. So I try to avoid it.
13: Musical Judges Either Judge Andrea Bouressa has turned into an old bald guy, or a new judge has taken over the case without anybody telling us.
14: The MSJ Hearing I’m just a spectator at this hearing, but Tommy points me out in the crowd and uses me as a prop to make a point to the judge.
15: Pay Up! Getting the court to take my money isn’t easy. Luckily, a friendly clerk helps me figure it out.
16: The DIY Libel Lawsuit I can’t afford to pay a lawyer to sue people for me. I have to learn how to do it myself.
17: Timing Is Everything Tommy deftly answers my libel petition, moves to dismiss it (twice), and schedules a hearing, all pretty much at the same time.
18: SLAPP Me Around Tommy says that, by suing Sonia for libel, I was trying to deprive her of her First Amendment rights.
19: Curiouser and Curiouser It seems to me that Tommy reserves civility for other lawyers, not for civilians like me who dare to represent themselves.
20: My TCPA Response I explain why I think that I haven’t violated Sonia’s “right to petition,” and that Sonia and Tommy can’t libel me, even in court.
21: Tommy’s TCPA Reply Tommy says I didn’t prove I did not expose myself; and that he did not say I did; and that he’s protected even if he did say it.
22: My TCPA Sur-Reply I say that Tommy was wrong when he said that I was wrong when I said that he was wrong. (Huh?) Luckily, the hearing is tomorrow.
23: The TCPA Hearing, Preliminary I walk into the courtroom for the TCPA hearing, the first time I will ever represent myself in court. Wish me luck!
24: The TCPA Hearing Both sides present their arguments; the judge says she’ll rule in less than a week. That’s a long time to keep my fingers crossed.
25: The TCPA Hearing, Postscript I meet another lawyer, who ambushes me after the TCPA hearing.
26: Mitch Wants My Money If the case is dismissed, I may have to pay my opponents’ attorneys’ fees. Mitch tells the court how much money he wants.
27: “Defendants”? Does affiant Mitch Little affirm that defendant Mitch Little has agreed to cover the costs of attorney Mitch Little?
28: There Goes the Judge I’m waiting for Judge Bouressa to reach a decision. But when she does, it’s not exactly the kind of decision I was expecting.
29: Judge for a Day How many judges can I go through in a week?
30: Judgment Day Approaches The day of reckoning draws nigh. If a new judge is not appointed in time, I win by default.
31: Running Out of Time After a baffling delay, a new judge is assigned to my case with instructions to reach a decision in three days.
32: I’m a Loser I’m trying not to to look at it as losing my lawsuit. I’m trying to look at it as launching my appeal.
33: Bad Timing Judge Tucker ruled against me on the exact date that Mitch said was her deadline. Mitch didn’t give her the wrong date, did he?
- Plaintiff’s Original Petition (Texas case #471-01040-2022) ↩︎